Look at me meow.

May 2012

Good 'ol Pete

Guy 1: Pete is so nice, he gave me a pizza.
Guy 2:
Guy 1: Well he gave me a slice to be more specific.
Guy 2:
Guy 1: Actually I think it was a breadstick.
Guy 2:
Guy 1: He ate half and gave me the rest. 
Guy 2:
Guy 1: Well he dropped it on the ground and I ate it. He didn’t say anything. He gave me a weird look.
Guy 2:
Guy 1: Yeah, good ‘ol Pete.. 

Apr 30, 2012

April 2012

I’m sorry my girlfriend is beautiful and yours is not.

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#clever

Apr 30, 2012

Apr 30, 20121,355 notes

I'm considering changing my URL to DolphinBoobs

TOO BAD SOMEONE ALREADY IS DOLPHIN BOOBS.

DAMN IT.

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I just want this day to be over.

Apr 29, 20123 notes

• me: hi mom
• mom: YOU NEVER DO ANYTHING TO HELP AROUND THE HOUSE I'M WORKING ALL THE TIME AND YOU'RE JUST ON YOUR COMPUTER YOU NEED TO HELP ME LIFE IS HARD RIGHT NOW YOU DISGUST ME YOU'RE NOT MY CHILD ANYMORE WHAT HAVE YOU TURNED INTO IT'S THE INTERNET IT'S CHANGED YOU YOU NEED TO GO OUT MORE WHY DON'T YOU LISTEN TO ME I GIVE YOU EVERYTHING ALL I ASK FOR IS SOME RESPECT

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moord:

i used to think i was unphotogenic then i found out i was just ugly

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